Thanks for stopping by Plato's Ladder! You've probably seen bite-size insights and food-for-thought posted on social media. Below is my recommended resources list for anyone wishing to get a deeper understanding of intimacy and connection:
Mating in Captivity
In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel argues that those with enduring sex lives are able to blend two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. She discusses when we are most drawn to our partners and why, our turn-ons and offs, balancing love and desire, reconciling domesticity and sensuality, and how to give and receive pleasure in long-term relationships.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
John Gottman and his wife Julie studied more than 3,000 couples over a period of 40 years in order to understand the habits that can make or break a marriage. Seven Principles is the summary guide for couples who seek a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Learn how to prevent conflicts before they start.
Rethinking Infidelity
Rethinking Infidelity is the first book of its kind; it’s a very thoughtful look into Esther Perel’s conversations and therapy sessions with couples from around the world as well as insights from lovers-on-the-side. I think everyone has been impacted by an affair in some way and think you may be surprised when reading what comes up for you or what behaviors or suffering you might recognize in someone that you know.
Attached
Do you get anxious under stress or avoidant under stress or are your securely attached? Can an avoidant and an anxiously person be in a relationship together? Discover your attachment style and approach to connection in this book.
The 5 Love Languages
There are 5 love languages and most people tend to have a primary language: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Author Gary Chapman suggests each love language is important and more importantly, learning your partner's and your own primary love language will help create a stronger connection in your relationship.
The Drama of the Gifted Child
If you are feeling blocked or stagnant, if you're choosing the wrong partners or are sabotaging any aspect of your life, The Drama of the Gifted Child is a must-read. By gifted, the author is describing a child's ability to create survival strategies rather than any particular gift or talent. The aim of this book is to identify childhood survival strategies that are no longer working and help the reader adopt more beneficial approaches.
The Erotic Mind
"Why do individual preferences and patterns of arousal vary so dramatically? Why are most of us attached to specific turn-ons? And what do our turn-ons reveal about who we are and what we're searching for? These and other unanswered questions lie at the heart of this book," says author Jack Morin. Even if you already have a solid understanding of your desires, The Erotic Mind is bound to ask you questions and offer insights no one else has.
Your Brain on Porn
Hands down, Your Brain on Porn is the most informative book available regarding education and information around online porn overuse. Gary Wilson is a former physiology teacher who takes a science-based approach to the topic. I personally know several men who this book has helped. All new research, stories, and talks are posted on his site: yourbrainonporn.com
The Myth of Male Power
The Myth of Male Power was written over 30 years ago and has many ideas in it that still hold true. Warren Farrell challenges the notion of male privilege and suggests that each sex has a different set of pros and cons. He points out these truths in order to help men and women cultivate more empathy for one another.
Liberator Collection
Liberator makes a variety of pillows and sex furniture to help make certain positions easier and more accessible while offering full-body support. Their products are very high quality.
Erotic Touch Massage Video Tutorials
The New School of Erotic Touch offers detailed video classes on sensual massage and how to use your hands during foreplay and sex to enhance pleasure and intimacy. Some of the film sets are a little outdated and the music is cheesy but the content itself is useful, especially for those with little understanding of anatomy or touch.
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex
One of the most comprehensive books about how our bodies work and how sex works, The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex covers all of the basics. If you or someone you know is new to sex or if you've wondered "what is going on down there?" this book might be a good place to start.
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